Anthonys Story

Anthony was no stranger to state services. He’d been in foster care most of his childhood, including a couple of stays in group homes due to his challenging behaviors. By the time he was 19, Anthony had been through both THPP for minors and non-minors. Both programs aimed to provide him with housing and stability so that he could focus on achieving his academic and career goals. Unfortunately, Anthony’s time in both programs was pretty unproductive. Like a lot of youth his age, Anthony struggled to cooperate with his team (i.e., authority figures) so he either fought with his team or refused to show up to meetings. He also failed drug tests and threw parties, and preferred surrounding himself with negative people who encouraged these poor life choices. All of these factors threatened Anthony’s ability to remain in the program, putting his housing and future at risk. But none of this seemed to matter to Anthony. That is, it didn’t seem to matter until his ex-girlfriend announced that she was pregnant and was planning on raising the child with or without Anthony.

Following this announcement, Anthony found himself rethinking and re-evaluating everything in his life, including his time in THPP. As he was also nearing his 20th birthday and making little progress towards self-sufficiency, Anthony’s team had to talk to him about his options. One option involved transitioning to the THP+ program, a program similar to the other two housing programs he’d been in, but with a more adult-focus since all participants were already adults and wanted to be treated as such. While his team stressed that Anthony would need to really recommit to services--agreeing to follow housing rules and engage in support so he could learn and apply critical life skills before he aged out of care completely--Anthony wasn’t deterred from applying. There was something about turning 20 and possibly becoming a father that had moved Anthony in a way that nothing else had before--he finally wanted to grow up.

After settling into THP+, Anthony started to recognize areas of his life that really troubled him--his unhealthy relationships, his inability to get a job, his disinterest in attending college or picking a career, and his confusion over becoming a parent. Every decision and goal he had yet to tackle felt scary and impossibly large. But instead of letting these feelings overtake him, causing him to lash out defensively at his team, Anthony instead chose to ask for help, confessing that he didn’t know where to start on any of this. Having been part of Anthony’s team for some time now, his case worker, Molly, felt a surge of hopefulness for Anthony. And she assured him that she would be there for him, walking alongside him, and helping him move forward positively.

Anthony, no longer looking to avoid his responsibilities, found that he was more capable than he ever thought. Molly continually reminded him that he’d already endured more than most people in his life, and he had gotten through it all because of his resiliency. By tapping into his own inner strength and perseverance now, he could set his mind to goal setting and achieving. Anthony first focused on developing his job readiness and communication skills--set on getting a job that would enable him to eventually secure his own housing and transportation. He also wanted to be a better partner to his ex-girlfriend, which he knew started with treating her better and being more helpful to her. He had come to the difficult yet exciting decision that he wanted to be an involved dad. While this prospect still terrified him, he was committed to giving his child a better life than he had--one with two present parents and a stable home. To help him with this goal, Anthony participated in a Building Healthy Relationships workshop, and was surprised to learn that he actually had a lot of healthy relationships, especially his relationship with Molly. Molly knew Anthony better than anyone, and even though she wasn’t family, she had been there for him through a lot of ups and downs, and she was still here, giving him her unwavering support. Realizing this, Anthony again found himself encouraged to keep pushing forward, choosing to focus on all of the positive possibilities that lay before him.

Of all the changes that Anthony has faced during his time in care, welcoming his baby girl, Daisy, was the most unexpectedly wonderful. And he’s proud to say that his first phone call announcing his daughter’s healthy arrival was to Molly. While he accomplished much in preparation for Daisy’s arrival--he got a full-time job at a large grocery store, he completed several parenting classes, he opened a checking and savings account, and he worked out a joint custody agreement for Daisy--his biggest accomplishment has really been his increased self-confidence. Anthony finally believes he’s ready to be a dad, because he finally sees himself as a grown-up, fully embracing the responsibilities that come with this. And there’s no way he’s going to let himself ever believe otherwise again.